Best Tech Jokes: Part 2
You wanted more.
They get corny. You have been warned…
How many computer people does it take to replace a light bulb?
Unix Experts – Just one guy, but he has to recompile the lightbulb, write some modified drivers, and a script and put in a cron job so it doesn’t happen again.
System Admin - We have 50 users saying the lightbulb at their house is working, so it must be a configuration error. Suggest looking at the output of lgtconfig -v to debug.
Linux Users – You can fix it using command line.
Software Testers – One person. Six people. 999999 people. 0 people. Dog People. …
Quality Assurance Testers – One just to tell you its out.
Software Testing - None. We don’t fix it, we just test for darkness.
Security Experts – the light is violating the security policy so I’m going to have to ask you to leave it off.
Mac users – Just one, but the bulb has to be an iBulb purchased directly from Apple.
Software Developers – None. It’s a hardware problem.
Hardware Engineers – None. You can fix it in software.
App Dev – Darkness is a feature, not a bug.
Helpdesk Agents – Your lightbulb is out? Did you submit a ticket to get it changed?
Webmasters – Click here to find out!
Tech Writers – We will document the darkness in the manual.
Project Managers – Just one, but you must have a change control request and a jira ticket.
Cross the Road Jokes
Why did the spider cross the road? To get to his web site.
Why did the project manager cross the road? The client wouldn’t meet halfway.
Why did the powerpoint presentation cross the road? To get to the other slide.
Why did the computer cross the road? It was a hard drive.
An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol…
A QA Engineer walks into a bar. He orders a beer. He orders 0 beers. He orders 9999999999 beers. He orders -1 beers. He orders a lizard. He orders asldkfjinw. He orders....
There are two types of people in the world. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
I bought my project manager two copies of a book so he could read it twice as fast.
DBAs come in three varieties: Does Basically Anything, Default Blame Acceptor or Don't Bother Asking
What kind of computer sings the best? A Dell.
I’ll tell you a DNS joke but be advised, it could take up to 24 hours for everyone to get it.
A data analyst goes into a bar, walks up to two tables, and asks, "Can I join you?"
Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open!
Three developers walk into a NoSQL bar, they left because they couldn't find a table.
Where is the best place to bury a body? Page 2 of a google search result.
Why shouldn’t you use beef and noodles as a password? It’s not stroganoff.
What does the equator and good internet connection have in common? They are both hotspots.
What do you connect your computer to in Russia? The Inter-nyet.
My college town had great wifi. It has lots of bars.
If you missed our first round of jokes, click back over to our Best Tech Jokes part 1:
https://www.moserit.com/blog/best-tech-jokes.
And check out our podcast where we told some of our jokes live: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2084650/episodes/14533567
Stick around for awhile and check out some more blogs at our sister site: https://www.coretech.ms/
At Moser, Our Consulting is No Joke
At Moser, we invest in our people first. We want our consultants to remain happy and healthy in a stressful industry. But our culture is just one piece of the puzzle. To keep our employees up-to-date on the latest developments in the IT sector, Moser recruits only the best professionals and offers them each an average of 50 hours of company-paid training each year. We have been a leading source of IT consulting for over 25 years and our team builds trusted, long-term technology partners developing cost-effective solutions for businesses. To learn more about Moser and what we offer, visit our website today.
